
The Words
My Hallelujah
I opened my eyes
And I saw that you were gone
Saw how bright the sun had shone
When I opened my eyes
And I opened my mouth
And I found I could say your name out loud
And still feel strong
I’d found that I’d moved on.
And I opened my ears
And I broke down into tears
When I found that I could hear
My own heart beating clear
Then I opened my heart
and found that it was whole
And the part I thought you stole
Was still in my soul
So Hallelujah for my life
For the joy and even the strife
Hallelujah for the past
For that toxic thing that didn’t last
Then I woke from my sleep
And saw that God my soul did keep
Saw the harvest of my life to reap
That I did weep
Then I stepped through the door
Where the pain of him was felt no more
In the comfort now where I dwell
In knowing all myself
So Hallelujah for what it was
For the strength I gained and the good it does
Hallelujah for the pain
Didn’t want to live a boring life anyway
O Hallelujah
Thank You
Thank you friend, for your love
I know you said you’d always be there
But I know you had your own things going
Without my problems to bear
So I thank you for your love
Thank you, friend, for listening to me
Even when it made you cry
Thanks for holding me up in my corner
When I’d lost the will to fight
So I thank you for your love
The year has gone by
And it seems we’re doing alright
Thanks for trumping the pain
When I’d lost my faith
Thanks for setting my world aright
Thank you, friend, for your love
If you should ever call my name
‘cause you find yourself in doubt
If you’re feeling alone and you need somebody
To help you figure it out
Then count on my love.
The Wait
I stand still
Close my eyes
Feel the wind on my row
Take a breath
Let it out
Stay within the now
Yet I still feel the ticking of a clock within my mind
And I feel I’ll be waiting for a while
Work all day
Dream all night
Watch a sun go down
Start the day
Once again
Wait another round
I’ve been praying for someone to hear me out
I’ve been aching for someone to say out loud
I’ve been waiting for you
I know that I’m not ready now to b e a second half
I know I’m still a wounded victim of my past
So I take
One more breath
Watch the moon rise up
Keep me busy
Yet breathe out
And ignore the clock
I’ll keep changing till I forget this place I’m in
I’ll keep going till the lonely won’t keep crashing in and I stop
waiting
About Him
It was a long time ago before you met me
I was just nineteen barely out on my own when he came
When I didn’t know my name
How it began
I don’t know
We just held hands
and we didn’t let go
All those years ago
But things are different now
You don’t have to worry, should he come back around
There’s no point in getting lost again when I’ve been found
By you
When I was a girl and he won me
And the world turned around me
And I learned to love with all breath
and all my strength
and all myself
Until he left
When I was just a girl
Broken in the world
Although I think of him from time to time
Don’t think that I have changed my mind
Tell me, could you ever leave yourself behind?
He’s the why
I love you
I am just a girl
And you’ve become my world
Eighties Bop Star
They said you'd gone away the day before my birthday
Thirty years of you the world had ever got to see
I used to dream that if I
Made enough of me that
We would meet and you’d say
I was all you needed
That’s the dream of any silly girl
Who dreams of rising Bop Stars
You the culture king of Bop
And me your doting queen
That’s when I’d know
I was worth a super star
The years of Bop are gone
And all our teenage heroes
I’ve since grown up and made a something out of me
If you’d the guts to be less
Extraordinary
I’d still have liked to know
What you’d have thought of me
That’s the dream of any grown up gal
Who dreams of former Bop Stars
You the former king of Bop and
Me your doting queen
That’s when I’d know
I was worth a superstar
I used to think
It mattered
What others thought of me
I used to think
If you loved me
I’d be a better me
Sunny boy blue with a gleam on you
shed your light
on
me
Make ‘em all see
that there’s more
to
me
That’s the dream of any silly girl
Who dreams of former Bop Stars
Idolized and sympathized with
Supersized
And justified
Just like
A superstar
As Long
We met in a noisy restaurant
You made me laugh
You made me want
To know the man behind the smile
And we forgot time for a little while
We texted up a storm and then
You said you’d come if I’d say when
I missed you and you said it too
You came to me and I ran to you
Do you know
How great it feels to feel this way again?
Does it show
How much I don’t ever want this to end?
You picked me up from the S‐Bahn stop
Whisked me away to a mountain top
You kissed me hard and pulled my hair
And made me feel how much you care
You listened when I spoke my pain
And then made sunshine out of rain
You drew me close and I gave in
You made me fall all over again
I feel your heartbeat next to mine
It’s beating harder out of time
We’re moving fast, the world’s a blur
It’s you and me in the universe
But you said,
Let’s take it slow
Let’s take the road
Just hold on tight and not let go
Let’s plant this seed and watch it grow
you know
And I said
Let’s take it slow
But before we go
There’s something that you oughta know
Don’t give a damn which way we go
As long
as it’s with you.
Again
I wish I knew what keeps me up at night
What hidden traumas keep my soul unsatisfied
Can’t be you
‘cause it’s been years since that goodbye
You’re forgotten
Just some memory of mine
Oh , here she comes again
That old me that never wants to mend
Oh, here comes the fall
It’s like no time has passed at all
Many years go by and suddenly you’re older
You pass the days tryin’ not to look over your shoulder
You think it’s done when you’ve found someone
And then you find
You’re a different you with a different view
But time stood still inside
But life goes on
And for a time, you’ll be gone
I’ll forget you for a while
Till something reminds me of your smile
Oh , here she comes again
That old me that never wants to mend
Oh, here comes the fall
It’s like no time has passed at all
I fall
down
Sorry for Love
Why did you say
those words you took away?
Did it scare you to see
How much they meant to me?
Would you have stayed
If I’d been vague about
What I felt for you?
If you never knew?
Sorry for love
Sorry for hope
Sorry I thought you were the one I was waiting for
Sorry for loving you
What would you say to me
If we would meet?
Would you be sorry?
Or would I be?
Would I say too much?
Or would I laugh
At how much I’d clutched
To a short lived love?
Or would we fall in love
And this time
Would it be enough?
Sorry for love
Sorry for truth
When you said I was all you needed,
I believed you
Sorry for trusting you
What am I going to do about this love?
It’s still within me after all these years have passed
when you
woke up and left me here in true love’s everlast
Will I ever be through
with loving you?
Sorry for love
Sorry oh love
Sorry in love.
Up
Getting up everyday
Trying to fight against the rat race
It’s wearing your soul out
What to do
When the world’s up against you
And you don’t know your way about
So you say that you are going
And you say you don’t care how
And you say this without knowing how to begin
But you know
You’re gonna get through this somehow
Night to day
You feel your mood begin to change
And you find that you’re still here
Come on friend,
Look at how much time you’ve spent
Held back by your own fear.
Now you say that you’re unsure
Sayin’ it’s not the time now.
But I feel that if you wait another day
Some time
They’re going to get to you somehow.
What’s the use of all your speculations
They only serve to bring you down
The world will never meet your expectations
That’s what life is all about.
Everywhere you seem to look
People logging on to Facebook
And you won’t sign up
Count to ten so you won’t become one of them
But you know that it won’t stop
And you knew it would be hard
On this higher road of yours
Passing grassy fields that get greener as you go
Till you wonder
What you are struggling for
Now you say that you are going
And you say you don’t care how
And you say this without knowing how to begin
But you know
You’re gonna get through this somehow
Because of You
You say to me it’s perfect
You say you’ve never felt this way before
You ask me if I feel it too
You ask me if I’m still unsure, and I say
You,
You,
You are just what I’m looking for
You move mountains just to hold my hand
When I’m crying, you listen
And you try to understand
You
I’ve fallen for you
‘cause you
‘Cause you take me as I am
I feel that since I found you
That you were always there
And if others say that we’re foolish
moving too fast
I won’t give a care
‘Cause you
Hold me like I’m precious
And you kiss me like I am
Yet you ask me why I’m smiling
When we’re walking hand in hand,
and I say
You,
You,
‘cause you are my man
Smile Like Stephanie Tenney
I knew a girl name Stephanie when I was just a teen
She was the class misfit, though she thought she was prom queen
She walked around the school à la vie en rose
She was the “O” in original from head to her toes
Life was hard for her at such an early age
Yet she still dreamed ‘bout being an actress on the stage
She was a little girl with massive dreams
She hadn’t figured out that life isn’t what it seems
When the clouds would start rolling in
She would shut her eyes and let nobody in
Who knew what Daddy did when the day was long
‘Cause she’d pop a cassette and all her problems would be gone
Smile, oh Stephanie Tenney
Close your eyes and raise your hands in the air
Smile on, Stephanie Tenney
And dance like you really don’t care
Stephanie was sensitive, she wanted to be cool
She cared what people thought at our stupid middle school
They crucified
denied her love that she deserved
She almost died in a locker room
‘cause she didn’t know her worth
Oh friend, I wish I’d been there for you
Defending you from all you would go through
Don’t think I didn’t stay ‘cause you weren’t worth the fight
I just wanted to think that everything was alright
Smiling Stephanie Tenney
Closing your eyes with your hands in the air
Smile on, oh Stephanie Tenney
And pretend
you really don’t care
Steph, remember when we used to talk and talk
About love eternal and all of that girl stuff?
Gotta tell you girl, it’s not what we had thought
Sometimes it still breaks down after giving it all you’ve got.
I think I know, dear Stephanie, what you would say to me
You’d say, “Shut up and step up! Don’t get lost in selfpity!”
And now I’ll try to be the person you’d have been
If you were here and life had finally let you win
Oh Steph, it’s now been years since you’ve been here
The world has changed, there’s more out there now to fear
I know if you were me, you’d turn your walkman on
Dance around, forget the world for as long as a pop chart song
So I’ll smile like Stephanie Tenney
Close my eyes and raise my hands in the air
Then just smile like Stephanie Tenney
And pretend I really don’t care
So when you’re feeling lonely and the world’s a pulling you down
Just remember my friend, the prom Queen without a crown
Try to take each day as it comes to you
If you can’t then this is what I suggest you should do:
Smile like Stephanie Tenney
Close your eyes and raise your hands in the air
Then just smile like Stephanie Tenney
And pretend that you really don’t care
Smile my Stephanie Tenney
Close your eyes and raise your hands in the air
Then just smile oh Stephanie Tenney
Oh my girl, wish you were here
Alberta
I don’t know what to tell you
It’s not like this is something new
The last few years I’ve thought about
where I belong
I’ve walked many miles in different shoes
Did everything that one should do
To find the path towards my truth
And found where I went wrong
Don’t think I say this to hurt you
I’m just trying to do what’s right
Believe me, when I say I love you
But it’s time to go
Know that I will always miss you
Every night and every day
I love you more than I could ever say
It’s just that I’ve been searching
For a place that needs me
It’s not that down there’s better
But it’s where I’ve got to be
I’ll think of you on lonely nights
When the full moon’s on the rise
Of your snowy coat of diamonds
That gleam in winter’s sunrise
I’ll close my eyes and remember
Your great sky of unending blue
I’ll take a breath and surrender
To the beauty that is you
But your mountains and golden prairies
Your folks of gentle air
Your turquoise lakes and rivers
I’ll remember elsewhere
And if by chance I can return
It will be a joyous day
For I love you more than I could ever say
I love you more than I could ever say
The Other Day
The other day when I wrote you,
I didn't mean for you to doubt my heart
I just missed you so bad that I hated the world.
Why was caring for you so hard?
Painful and sick from the start?
Will you wait for me if I'm flying too high
and I can't seem to get back down?
Will you look for me when I'm spinning away
trying to get back to you on the ground?
Carried away by the clouds?
I didn't mean to let you down
I didn't mean to make it sound that I don't want you
I promised you that I would hold you in my heart
Until the day that you would take me in your arms again
And if you give me a chance I swear I won't let you fall
if you come with me away from here
Abandon this place of fear
Then I swear I will stay
Keep the doubting at bay
if you swear you've never ever lied,
If you swear you've only ever tried
for me
Will you listen to me when I talk too fast
and you can't keep up with all the "why"s
Will you hold on tight
when I'm on a tirade
of what I think is wrong or right?
Will you keep me in your sight?
I didn't mean to let you down.
I didn't mean to make it sound that I don't need you
I promise you that I will stay as long as you say
that you'll keep me
keep me in your heart
So here I am before you
saying sorry for the hurt I caused
for doubting you at all
Please don't say that all is lost
with you
Then I will trust you now
We'll get through this somehow
I promise you when the times get tough
Your word will always be enough
for me
I didn't mean to let you down
I didn't mean to make it sound that I don't love you
I promise you that I will hold you in my heart
until the day that you can keep me
take me,
take me in your arms
The Door
I don’t know why I find myself back here
I thought that I’d found me love again
It seems that life keeps rolling down this road into second gear
I guess it wasn’t meant to be
But how can I keep going
without getting myself hurt?
I try to open up myself to someone
And find I just get burned
Wise men say that the path of love
Is only through this door
Then I suppose I must go through
Accept what lies in store
For love.
I dreamt that I was flying
in the open sky
I saw my life from a far distance
And I asked myself why
I should be sad
I should be lonely
He was only just one man
When I saw the love of all the many people that I had
I won’t give into despairing
I won’t give into pain
The way is hard, but it’s worth the walk
It’s just one rainy day
Although I know what we could’ve been
You said that you won’t follow
So I’ll take the path of love again
And leave this place of sorrow
To you
So I say goodbye to you
My some‐time one‐time lover
I’m gonna gather up the love I have
And save it for another
So take my gifts and go with them
Return to me no more
I have gone away to distant lands
I’ve walked out through the door
To love
For love
For me
Wishing
I wish I could be someone else
Start again somehow
I wish I could be superman
Or queen of somewhere now
Wish that I was anyone
But me
It’s not easy living with yourself
With the life that you’ve mislead
But if I could be anybody else,
Who would I be instead?
Would I be free,
Or long to be me?
The Question
When I look at you
and you're looking at me
I just wonder if we're beginning to be
a circus duo or a flying trapeze
If I let go this rope,
will you try
to catch me?
I'd like to fall,
Fall for you
Feel like I'm flying towards something true
Are you ready for me
'cause I'm coming at you,
Better tell me the truth
Better give me some proof
before I take the leap
I can't tell if you care
'cause you're always sweet and you're always there
Could you give me a sign
if I should take a step
off this tightrope of mine
'cause you have swept me
off my feet.
Darling,
you are all I need
to keep from
falling
I'm falling for you
It would cushion the fall
if you feel like I do
Do you feel like I do?
Don’t
Oh friend, I'm sorry for never letting you go
You can't walk back the same way you came
but I just needed to know
If we had now for ourselves
Would we feel that way again?
I’m sorry for disturbing you
And pretending to be a friend.
Don’t hurt for me, don’t think of me
Don’t wonder if I’m okay
The years went by and I moved on
There’s nothing more to say
It’s nice to know you’re doing well
And you are happy too
I never thought we could talk like this
It’s all completely new
But I see that I have to let you go
And I see this time you won’t
You may think we have a second chance
But I know that we don’t
Don’t fall for me, don’t yearn for me
Don’t wait another day
The seasons went and love grew cold
And grey with yesterday
I don’t know if I could face you
And be the person I amI don’t know if I could handle it again
Or if I’d even give a damn
So you see why I’m sorry
For coming back again
I never thought it was possible
To untie a loose end
Don’t write to me
Don’t talk to me
Don’t tell me that you’ll stay
Don’t try to make up for lost time
It’s too late anyway
It’s better this way
Kyrie
Kyrie eleison
Kyrie eleison
Kyrie eleison
Christe eleison
Online Junkie
I woke up this morning
With an aching pain in my head
My eyes were swollen and red
Felt so tired, I wished I was dead
I made myself a coffee
Then turned my laptop on
Watched a video online till dawn
Another day, like that, was just gone
Oh no! It’s happening a gain!I can’t make this addiction end!
‘Cause I’m an online junkie
Need to get the buzz
Need to see I’m Facebook liked
And read I’m better than I was
I’m an online junkie
Need to get away
From Stephen Colbert and Spider Solitaire
Don’t want to meet my end this way
I’ve been missing work
But you know what they say
Money ain’t jack when you’re watching Steve all day
Gotta find a reason,
To get me out of here
My friends are calling me up
Sayin’ I’ve just gotta stop
I say, “I think it’s too late, my dear.”
‘Cause I’m an online junkie
Need to get the buzz
Need to see I’m Facebook liked
And read I’m better than I was
I’m an online junkie
Need to get away
From Stephen Colbert and Spider Solitaire
Don’t want to meet my end this way
An Expat in Cologne
I left my land
With a dream in my heart
For COLONIA
For a brand new start
It was cold, and wet
Nothing strange for Fall
Yet the folks were cheerful
It was KARNEVAL
So I walked through the streets
To Heumarkt from the Dom
When I saw the crowds cheering
I knew I’d come home
Oh COLONIA
You have won my heart
You’re my sunshine in the rain
May we never part
Oh you’ve come to be
The loveliest to me
Oh Rhein city
True land of the free
To Rudolfplatz
I walked from there
Saw the broken gate
Costumed folks everywhere
There were peasants, there were kings
Drinking Koelsch along the Ring
And suddenly, my heart began to sing
Oh COLONIA
You have won my heart
You’re my new best friend
May we never part
Oh you’ve come to be
The loveliest to me
Oh Rhein city
True land of the free
Then I followed the crowd
Till we reached Chlodwig Square
And I cried, “ALAAF!”
Like the folks out there
We linked arms and shared a drink
They sang songs I couldn’t sing
As I listened, I then began to think
Oh COLONIA
You have won my heart
You’re my new found love
May we never part
Oh you’ve come to be
The loveliest to me
Oh Rhein city
True land of the free
And when the parades were over
And the streets began to clear
I began to ask myself
What I was doing here
Then somebody said,
don’t worry, don’t even shed a tear
We have Karneval
Each and every year!
Oh COLONIA
You have won my heart
You’re my new found love
May we never part
Oh you’ve come to be
The loveliest to me
Oh Rhein city
True land of the free
Oh Rhein city
The land of the free
So you can get a better feel for what I write about, I've written all the texts of my songs here for you!